An aircraft is about to crash

An aircraft is about to crash. There are five passengers on board, but unfortunately only four parachutes.

The first passenger says “I’m Shaquille O’Neill, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me – it would be unfair to them if I died.” So he takes the first parachute and jumps.

The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, says “I am the wife of the former President of the United States. I am also the most dedicated woman in the world, a Senator in New York and America’s potential future President.” She takes one of the parachutes and jumps.

The third passenger, George W. Bush, says “I am the President of the United States of America. I have a huge responsibility in world politics. And apart from that, I am the most intelligent President in the history of the country and I have a responsibility to my people not to die.” So he takes a parachute and jumps.

The fourth passenger, the Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a ten year old schoolboy “I am already old. I have already lived my life. As a good person and a priest, I will give you the last parachute.”

The boy replies “No problem, there is also a parachute for you. America’s most intelligent President has taken my schoolbag.”


  1. Anonymous May 29, 2006 at 19:20 #

    If only this could happen..

  2. Neil May 30, 2006 at 22:00 #

    I can’t remember where, but I read a similar joke this morning whilst half-asleep… and I’ve been looking for it ever since.

    I think I’d tend to agree with you: I had more fun this year at grad than I can remember having at my own. Absent the spotlight of being one of the graduands, I had more flexibility to run around and socialize with more of the attendees. Coming into it with no expectations whatsoever probably helped, too…

    The answer to “why were you there?” differs, depending on who you ask. Some people think I was there as staff, others think I was there as a date, and still others think I was there recruiting for UBC…. The only accurate answer is that I was invited along by one of the graduands. Chalk it up as a “good friend” thing, though, rather than a date.

    Memo to world: as cool as running around the world is, airplanes really aren’t the most exciting of places.

  3. Amanda June 2, 2006 at 01:14 #


    yep. I’ve heard a different version of this joke before too. and it’s still funny. :P

  4. treesa June 2, 2006 at 11:44 #

    Yes, Galway’s lovely. I don’t know the song by the 3 tenors but I’m sure it’s somewhere near being right. And it helps when the sun’s out, cuz otherwise Galway can be pretty depressing.

    Ah, and forgot to mention, I’m not home for summer. For Christmas, yes. Sometime before Christmas, anyway. Cheerioohhhhhs

  5. Neil June 8, 2006 at 19:07 #

    Oh, it’s definitely doable. The thing is, at this point, the spam is a) rare enough and b) humourous enough that I’m tempted to just leave it be… if the situation deteriorates any further, you’ll be seeing a verification system.

    One thing that mitigates the problem is that all comments have to be moderated before they actually show up, unless they’re coming from a known source. I’ve got a hunch that some of these bots check the comments and expect to see their own spam there before deciding they’re going to come back and try again…

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